The feared f-word.
The word’s existed (on record) since the late 1800s. Though, rest assured that for as long as women have existed, women have fought, and women have died in the name of equal rights and freedom. Women are still forging forward trying to level the playing field. And while Different countries may punish and oppress women in different ways—some ways vile, other ways veiled—, the reason is always the same: we are women.
Much respect to those that came before us as they blazed a trail and prevailed against all odds. We wouldn’t be where we are today had it not been for them. Sadly, however, our progress has proved to be slow, as dismantling the patriarchy is no easy feat. Especially, if the matriarchy is half asleep or hesitant.
It’s clear that we have a way to go before the system corrects itself and we no longer need to declare that we are feminists: women rising for our right to be seen, heard, respected, represented. To be on equal footing with men. Until that day comes, it behooves us to stand up for what’s right. It is our common inherent purpose.
If you’re a woman still wondering why you should care —or worse, thinking this doesn’t concern you—, best you acquaint yourself with the cause, lest you wish to surrender any independence and dignity you’ve come to enjoy because of it.
Now, while there’s much to be said on the matter, there’s one point in particular that I feel is pressing. And that is: the fear of the f-word—feminist. While it’s to be expected that some men may exhibit resistance to the word, it’s concerning to see women (still today) follow suit.
And so, because I believe social change starts with the self, I’ve made it my mission to emphasize and investigate this point often and fervently, in hopes to continue to de-stigmatize it and normalize it.
We absolutely need to discuss the reasons why—otherwise free, affluent women—hide and censor themselves when presented with the opportunity to speak up for women’s rights. Their own rights.
My feeling is that the underlying reason points to shame if not fear. Two sides of the same coin?
Doesn’t help that in today’s subtle sexist climate (post #metoo movement), it’s become all too easy to self-doubt and stay silent. You see, a blatant violation begets a prompt reaction—it’s easier to take a stand. Whereas small, casual, common offenses—the kind we’ve all been accustomed to accepting as cultural, and typical gender-normative behavior—creates discomfort and confusion. Imperceptible, small, and obscure…maybe. Insidious, nonetheless. It’s like death by a thousand cuts.
Could it be that faced with the f-word, women come to realize their forgotten, long-neglected, unfinished part in the cause?
Could it be that women feel conflicted, even compromised?
Well, cultural conditioning considered, I’m inclined to respond with resounding YES—otherwise, there wouldn’t be much need for this cause to begin with.
Let’s face it, it’s not easy having to look your father-in-law in the eye and tell him that he’s being sexist.
To commend your daughter for being sexually liberated when you’re your husband loosely uses the term slut.
To tell your neighbor “No. Boys will not be boys”.
To tell your boss that your colleague is incorrigible and keeps on interrupting you in meetings—without worrying you’ll seem weak and petty.
To walk up to HR and attempt to explain that the “boys club” is beginning to be a little much.
To speak up, assertively, when you’ve repeatedly been told to settle down.
To tell your best friend that it would help her if her husband were to be a more accountable father and fair partner.
To correct someone who with good intention calls you a lady instead of a woman in a professional context, or any other context where these terms should not be considered interchangeable.
To disagree with your niece’s boyfriend when he says that the #metoo movement has gone too far.
To be expected to share your sexual assault story over and over again, as if almost trying to convince people that refuse to believe you because “such a nice guy would never do such a bad thing”.
To look back at yourself and admit that too often, you turn the other cheek… because “it’s just easier”.
They say ripples turn to waves. And I look forward to exploring these questions in CLUBHOUSE on Sun Mar 7 at 5 PM PST/8 PM EST with Greek Women Unite.
If you’re in Clubhouse, join the conversation.
Let’s start to make some waves!
https://www.joinclubhouse.com/event/xn7NRDnz
